It Took Courage

Writer's Block: The Things We Carry

2008-03-12T22:41:18Z

The things I carry? It is often that I carry my cell phone and my keys. The two necessities I need in order to get through the day. However, at times I find it pointless to carry my phone, considering that I don't have many friends. Even so, I may be hopeful in receiving a phone call, or at least one from someone I wouldn't mind speaking with. Wow, this is actually becoming depressing for me.

Give Peace At Mind For My Heart Is There With You

2007-04-16T17:24:02Z

Dang, I haven't written in this journal for quite some time. As it goes, my life is pretty swell. I have those I love and I'm loved as well, now what's better than that? Daniel bought me this cute stuffed doggy, it's so adorable, I love it. Tehe. I'm kind of excited, for what? Who knows...or maybe I know but don't wish to tell you. :D Yes, that's it most definitely. Grr...I'm hungry but I'm going to wait after class...that way I can go to the cafeteria and eat. I have my reasons yo! LOL. Anywho, I'm surprised I've kept this journal for this long uh? You know...I read something this morning...and I need to stop thinking of me so much...heck I know I have my problems...but...maybe I can be there for someone today. :) That sounds kinda nice....thus in the end...it would be helping each other. WOOT! Hehe. Okay, well anyway, if you really wanna know how I'm doing...today...I'm doing absolutely awesome...love is the key...sounds so cheesy...lol. Anyway, I'm out.

Please Have No Concern, I'm Totally Fine...No Seriously I'm Fine

2007-02-02T21:43:19Z

Well, I broke it off with Octavio. For good. I learned that I was just clinging to him out of my fear of being alone. What kind of relationship would that be? We make great friends, and it's as simple as that. I figured I didn't want to waste his time or mine. He has a lot of goals and plans that I know I don't agree with, why hold him back? Don't I want to move forward too? Of course, but we're on two separate paths. For once in my life, I don't fear being alone. I learned that being alone is nothing compared to being with someone that you shouldn't be with. Not only is it unhealthy, but it's like food never being eaten. How so? Food is very vital to your survival, if you don't eat, you get weak, and soon die. If you didn't like that, then imagine a flower not getting water. LOL. Anyway, I'm totally fine, and quite relieved that I'm finally able to move on. It doesn't bother him one bit. If you know Octavio, he's very strong, and is very straight-forward. That man can break through anything, and he'll drag you along if he has to. LOL. Trust me I know. LOL. Anywho, he's still my friend, but I have my own life to live. I have my own simple goals and dreams. Many people would consider them simply daily things, but not to me. The little things always count! Regardless, that's how my life has been, not bad at all. In fact, the same day that I broke it off with Octavio, some guy named Roy asked me out on a date. He needed a ride home and asked me if I could take him. We're both in the karate class, so I figured, hey...I'd hope someone was kind enough to do that for me, so I said of course. Then once I dropped him off he asked me if I was doing anything anytime soon. I told him that I'm usually in school but have weekends off. He asked about this weekend. *Panic* I don't remember the last time I was even asked to a date. I mean...legitamely asked on a date. *thinks*....Maybe...*taps chin* I guess 10th grade? No...*still thinking* Well who cares, it's been that long. Yes, I panicked, I told him I didn't know what I was doing this weekend and he got my number and said he'd give me a call. *blinks* <.< I mean...I need to get this dating thing down....but I haven't been asked on a date since High School, I mean cut me so slack! Personally, he's not my type, good guy, but I'm not interested. What's worse is he's in my karate class...so how am I supposed to avoid him? *sighs and falls over* I'm so doomed. Anyway, that's pretty much it. I get to study Chemistry this weekend! It's so exciting! I want to get this stuff down and CONQUER IT! LOL...please, I'm just weird like that. Anyway, adios!

It's Called A Lone Howl Wind

2007-01-31T23:44:33Z

So, I know I did well on my speech. I got all 25 points and he completely complimented me on it. *whew* I feel like a bit of a tart considering that I forgot he gave me my grade paper and told him he didn't. LOL. Poor guy. Anyway, I don't have much to say besides I want to go get something to eat right now, then I'll come back and work on some of that chemistry. Oh the joy. Anyway, I'm out. Adios.

A Memory of Plagues

2007-01-30T00:27:34Z

Well, today I had to do my speech. I think it went very well. I spoke about my brothers and how each one of them taught me something. I was nervous at first, I must admit. My leg kept shaking as I sat by my desk, listening intentfully. When I first started to speak, I was extremely nervous. My teacher put his hands up to his ears, letting me know to speak louder. So I did. I spoke for 4 minutes, timing myself carefully as he put up one finger, letting me know how much time I had left. With that, I closed it casually and thanked everyone for listening. Everyone applauded and I must admit, I felt good. A few people told me I did very very well. With that being said to me I was very happy. WOOT! Hehe. Anywho, other than that there isn't much to say about my day. I saw Daniel again on the grass so I went up to him, grubbing on my burger and scared him. I sat down and offered some of my food since he's always hungry. He said that he was like a stray dog and I was feeding him. LOL. He's silly. Then we both put out whatever snacks we had, and chose. I gave him more...since I'm nice anyway. I always was that way. When people told me that they had money, they could buy food, I'd still lend them money. I did that all of the time in high school, so what made you think I'd change that? BWAHAHHAHAHA. It's my decision anyway. I'll do what I want. I know when I can't offer anything, for I'd need the food or money. When I have an excessive amount there is no need to get all greedy. You know, I was thinking about love today. How easy it is for me to fall in and out of love. Poor Octavio has gone through so much because of that. I was thinking about his and my bond today. I thought of it even when we went to Big Bear last weekend. It was nice. He got a cabin and we just relaxed, it was very very nice. We played in the snow with the babies, and the babies were handling it just fine. Kiala kept picking up her feet, and Atticus hated snow being thrown on him. It was really funny how he yelped because I threw snow at him. It was like the snow was going to kill him. LOL. He's such a drama-king. Other than that, Octavio called. We didn't talk long, he just wished me luck on my speech. Then he called again because he got off and just wanted to see how I was and went back to take a nap. So, there isn't much to say on that. I also don't think my mom is too thrilled that I'm living there. She's always making remarks and smirks about it. Reminds me, I have to call her up about the car deal. So I should end this to talk to her. Well, I gotta go. Take care.

They Say Actions Speak Louder Than Words, It's Not Like That ALL The Time

2007-01-26T22:56:43Z

Well, anyway...I have a lot on my mind. Sometimes I feel like my emotional rant within myself will make me lose it. That's not to say that I must keep sane at all times. Love. Love love love love love. Need I say more? Confusions, questions, and hope. Love. Simple word with a complicated meaning. Desires. Wishes, hopes, and dreams. I have a goal. My goal is to get the hell out of here. Simple as that. Of course I do plan to finish my school first and not fuck it up for me this time around. Life continually changes. That's the thing about it. It sucks...but it's something that happens regardless of what you want, let alone need. Needs are completely important. One must be satisfied. Why am I not? What is it? You see, I always considered myself a lost soul. Is that really the case? Or am I really.....a confused soul? Maybe that is a lost soul. Someone could be lost based off of different ways or paths. Me? Well, I don't know. Reasons of being lost is:

Not knowing where to go.
Waiting for something.
Lost something.
Hoping for something.
Expecting for something. (It's not like waiting so shoosh it.)
Searching for something.
Confused.
Or simply wanting something.

Maybe that is a lost soul in general. All of those combined? Perhaps. I guess it is based on an individual. Yet I wonder.....sometimes I think to myself....why aren't I happy? In all honesty, I don't believe I know how TO be happy. Everyone says not to blame it on your parents. Is that really so though? In all honesty, we are raised by our parents and they say that we become a spitting image of them. Yes, I take it into consideration that as adults...we know right from wrong. However, a humans character does not change overnight. It took years to create their personality. Yet "knowledge" of being oneself is expected to change overnight. It makes no sense to me. As for me? Well, I was raised in a conflicting household. How so? Well, lets look at it. My mother and father clashing from views, opinions, religious beliefs, and personalities. I saw that. I knew that. That's all I knew, and that's honestly all I know what to do. All I can do is try. Try to catch onto my bad behaviors, try to be a better person. I've tried since I was able to recognize that I didn't like who I was. Now? I don't like myself. Which is good. I used to hate myself. Now I don't like myself. Took me YEARS to get there. Can you imagine loving myself? People. You do not expect a beaten animal to change overnight. The animal is scared. It attacks, it cries, it's shy. We as human beings are animals too. I have more emotional scars than anything. The only little happiness I knew was from my brothers. Playing with them. Those are honestly the best and really....the only times I remember from my childhood. I wander at mind and heart. My environment...I want it to change. I want to see the world, and I won't settle down in one stupid state. I want to get out of here and I want to LIVE. Living doesn't have to mean being happy. I just...want to see the world in my eyes. That is my goal. That is my dream. As simple as it is...that's all there is to it. I don't have to have a dream or goal like everyone else. To...be successful, have a family, or some stupid thing like that. I have simple and small goes. Get out of here, and see the world in my eyes. I need to in order to feel alive. I want to so that I can live. You never would have heard this from me years ago. At that time I wanted to die.....and now.....I just want to live. Yet, if I die...then it simply is my time. I accept death as natural. Yet for now....I just want to now how it feels to live...and see things in my eyes, even if it's dark, scary, or hateful. Even if it becomes the death of me. I think I need so see it in order for my heart to remember what it felt like to be happy. To remember what it felt like to see dreams. To remember what it meant to love. To....just be happy. I have a goal. I have a simple dream. Let me live.

It's Amazing What You Get

2007-01-26T02:44:47Z

I was thinking about marriage at this moment. Sometimes my mind babbles while I try to study, so I have to type it in order to get it out of my mind. As it goes, I was thinking. Sometimes people believe marriage is a solution to his or her problems. In the end for me, I had only more questions. I couldn't understand everything, from love in general, to simple little things. Many people's ideal of marriage is supposed to fix everything. It doesn't. Marriage has more problems. You get slapped with bigger and more responsibilities. You are not only thinking for yourself, but also for your lover. You see a marriage is very fragile. You hold it in your hands...and you can either crush it, drop it, hold it, or cling to it. Me? Well, I'm clinging to it. Octavio and I have had our ups and downs. Yet here we are, loving one another still. Even though at some points in our marriage, you would've thought we'd end it. We didn't. Even now...going against whatever odds, we have the courage to believe. Even if it fails, I don't believe him and I will hold it badly. I want it to work, I want to believe, and darn right...I want him. Love. It's a crazy thing really. Me on the other hand, I could never understand how I could fall in love easily, then fall out of it even easier. Perhaps it's my tendency to be needy, that I'm desperate. I at least have the view of my problem and see I need to understand things in a totally different perspective. Needless to say, I do love him very much. It's quite clear in my heart. Is there doubt? Just a hint, I won't lie. Yet, isn't that everyone? I've always staggered on every step in my life. Call it my safety rope. It's bad to always think negative. I know that. But always...and by all means always...be logical and rational.

It Gets Harder To Breathe

2007-01-24T23:41:05Z

Sometimes, when life gives you struggles, one learns the basic instincts of survival. Sometimes, some things get so erratic that it challenges the very bone, the very core of your being. Questions with desires. Anger with pleasure. Sadness with hate and so forth. struggles may teach you many things if one is willing to learn. Sometimes one may be willing to learn yet does not have the capacity or the capability of doing so. I, myself, find myself with these situations of bliss or mad confusion. Questions give answers and answers give more questions. It's a cycle. It always must be that way for it is very vital toward life in general. One must have a cycle or what some call, "Circle of life." It is one important factor in life. With death there is rebirth and with birth there always will be death. Fears drive many humans to complete insanity. Do you remember times in the dark? Perhaps a mere whisper could feel as though a threat. It's quite amusing how what once was light and gentle, can turn easily dark and brings fear. That's life though. Without it, it wouldn't be life at all. Love with hate, sadness with joy. With these intertwining we get mixtures of revolutions. Opinions and criticism. Life all into one. Life is by far the most unique pleasure anyone could have. In the end we all have the same conclusion. Death.

Who Knew Communication Is A Key Value In Life?

2007-01-22T23:40:47Z

Well, to update you on my love life. I talked to Octavio. You see, I wanted to spend time with him. At first it was the needles thing...we were gonna drop his sister off and stay in laughlin. Turns out, he winded up inviting his mom and dad. So...time alone wasn't in anymore. Then! We were going to go bowling, but then that awful thing happened with his sister. We only have weekends together so life right now gets lonely. I was going to get pictures of him and me and keep them with me so that every time I get sad or lonely...I have our pictures to look at. I even took a picture of him on my cell and made it my display. I always miss him. Anywho, as you could imagine I was upset since we hadn't gone on a date or really enjoyed something "together". Now when I say enjoy something together, sure...we drive...we go to the movies...but I don't mean that. I talked to him...and for once...he talked to me. It was great that he came back...and asked how he could help the situation. I really did appreciate it...he actually sat down next to me and TALKED!! Oh, I gotta go, my dad's sending me on duty....lol.

I'm Tired...Nothing New Uh?

2007-01-21T17:17:36Z

Well, I'm in school. I'm taking chemistry, history, ceramics, speech, some marriage and family class, and karate. I don't have any free days besides...well...weekends. (Surprisingly) SO....I've been studying, hungry, and tired. Of course since I've only been able to see Octavio on weekends....I just keep missing the bugga. I think it helps not seeing eachother often. Probably because well...we get to see how much we love each other...let alone....at a distance...you always learn about a lot of things. We came across a bump in the road. You see....Octavio's mom started to drink again not too long ago. Myra called crying to Octavio...and coincidentally him and I were going through Yermo at the time...so...we stopped by...and he yelled at his mother. Of course I couldn't understand most of the conversation but got the basics by hearing a few words here and there. We picked up Myra...and I called my mom and asked if Myra could spend the night. My mom said no. She was mad because there was dog poop in my room...and said she didn't want another thing to worry about. How could you compare Myra to a dog? I thought. I was mad...but wanted to remain calm. Octavio was pissed as it was...so he cussed up a storm. I sat there holding his hand in the car....and knew he was glad that I was supporting him. I wanted to do everything I could to be a great wife...and what does that mean? A wife...is the backbone...if anyone knew. (Octavio just said to not forget to say that he's a bad ass). Well...regardless...Octavio is my rock...and encourages me to strive....and I'm Octavio's support. You know...women used to complain about being a housewife...or being a woman who stayed at home..who didn't work...served their life to their kids. Saying that the man had all the rights in the world. But if you ever knew how it felt to BE a wife...you'd know....being a mother, let alone just a wife...is the hardest job in the world. Supporting someone...is the hardest thing in the world. Why? In reality you work on the base of survival. You worry about you. When you support someone...it means you have to be strong for you and the other. When you have a lot of hard times...you learn a lot of things. Octavio and I have gone through A LOT just for a beginning marriage. With family, with financial, with military reasons. It's been hard. But it's like my book said, "Although problems can decrease the satisfaction in your marriage, when you succeed through it, it makes your marriage stronger." Every hard time Octavio and I had...we wanted to quit...but every time the problem was over...we loved each other more than ever. Problems teach you a lot. Distance teaches you a lot. What I learned is that I love Octavio more than anything....my pets come close. LOL. But regardless, I'll call this an entry. Adios.

From Head to Toe

2007-01-17T23:09:19Z

Well, I practically belittled myself by asking Octavio if I could remain his wife. At first...it pretty much was a no. Of course I felt sad...lol. Then later on, I learned he didn't want rules or to be tied down. I couldn't help but ask, "Then why did you marry me?" I then went for a run, sprinting in anger, crying. Once I reached to the cliffs, I actually prayed to God. Something I've been doing more frequent lately. I talked to Him for some time...hoping for answers...asking questions....you know...the works and wonders. Then after that....I ran home, and he told me...he felt that why be separated...when we love each other, and could support one another...what was the point in being alone when we've been through so much together. He loves me and I love him was his motto. I gladly hugged him, but at the same time worried that I pressured him in taking me back. So...I suppose I'll be learning what's going on...but right now...it's like he said...just focus on school...just like he is. I did that...calling him up today...I wanted to tell him about my first day, but he had his own worries...and was a bit grumpy...so needless to say I was a bit hurt by it, but tried to understand he was having a hard time. He just ran 10 miles and now...he has to read...it must be exhausting for him. I just wish...he listened to me a bit longer...but hey...can't always get what I want right? Right now, I have him....that's everything to me. Who ever knew? I actually love him THAT much. I really don't want to fuck things up....and most of all....for once...I believe in myself....and I pray that no one...takes that away from me.

I Don't Think Anyone Honestly Has a Clue Really....

2007-01-10T03:34:33Z

I think so many wise thoughts in my head...thinking of possibilities and things I need to do. Then there's my heart...but my heart is like glass right now. I hear the cracks going further and further, and I'm starting to get the hint. With that said...how do I walk away? Like a miserable fool with tears following my step. Time they say....time...is something I wish I never had.

Oh Yeah. Totally.

2006-11-21T03:39:58Z

I feel like I have a voice that seems to be contained. With every day that burns above the horizon, I lay here tired and pondering the days recognition. I don’t think I could ever possibly understand a moments pause of life, a smile, or any sort of happiness. You see, I’ve never understood such things. I don’t think I ever will in all reality. I’ve questioned and doubted everything that could possibly mean something dear to me. I don’t think I could ever understand love…with patience of such things that I could only dream of. A kiss that lingers to a heart that races. It holds no ends when you couldn’t hold no peace with your own heart. All that have ever breathed have made their own payment of eternity. I stare in the eyes of myself in the mirror and tremble of my future. Not that of life but of that that remains within me. The soul is what I’ve mentioned at this moment. To hold no truth is to hold no love. To breathe fire is to have hell in your eyes. To smile is only a wish in my mind. The soul that burns within me is that of a demon. That in which I carry Heaven and Hell within my own being. Love is love that remains as a cloud that dissipates. I could cry such a merciless prayer and only have a tear to remain on my cheek. My sadness carries my own hatred. I hate….I bleed, I am only human and I continuously remind myself of such so that I can remember that I want to live.

kitsxystuff15 @ 2006-11-10T20:01:00

2006-11-11T03:01:00Z

Dang...I always have crap in my mind.

1...2....3...*yawns*...yeah, I'm so bored.

Should I watch tv?

MmMmMmMmMmMmMmMmmmmm no.

Make another quiz on quizilla?

Too tired for that really.

You know...my cat almost killed my baby hamster! O.O

Yes-it devastated me too -.-

I think she slaughtered the rest of them too....

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so sad, so very very sad.

And-yet-again-I-am-so-weird-sometimes.

Someone Wake Me Up When We're Leaving.

2006-11-02T04:56:06Z

*taps key* oooookay, still in a somewhat lit room, and may I add, it is fucking BORING!! As you now should know of what I was thinking *points to entry below* and unfortunately, I'm still waiting for Octavio. *sighs, sliding down in my chair, yawns* I'm tired. I might just sleep at Octavio's work, though I'm not sure why since...I'm just sleeping. It's not like he can sleep with me, ya know? Meh. *turns to look at teacher* He is by far boring, this class is boring, the horror. Worst part is...I've already gone to like...every site I usually go to. My soul should be spared, I am just an innocent bystander! *head lowers* Oi. oi.
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oi.

By Dawn I Think I've Lost My Mind.

2006-11-02T02:29:02Z

Sometimes it is amazing how life continues the way it does. From thousands emotions to vary from, yet only to conclude as it should from the basics. Thousands of thoughts run through my mind, yet it is very exhausting to remember that I am...what I have questionably have doubted. From these icy cold walls, to what I may verify as love. Memories are like a picture in your mind, in mine. A voice can define so many things. Character and personality. Are those the same? Could one possibly judge how one may be? It's amazing that I can carry such burdens of pain and sorrow throughout many tears that engulfed my heart. My heart is only another subject to admire, yet only at a distance. For only I may admire it. I....can feel anything as anyone could. Understanding it is only one of many things to have only been found as complicated. Complications are very likely to be misunderstood. Without meaning may I simply say that I am who I am. Or should I believe it with such sincerity as though I possibly felt life was full of light and love. A basic mind- relationships, love, hate, work, friends, and school. The basic things in life that keep humans thriving...to succeed in his or her own work and most of all- dreams OR goals. Dreams and goals are similar in mind and different at heart. I could mention the word love, but that my friends would be only an understatement. Why? The simple word has thousands of meaning. Some may base it off as an emotion, others mention "heart", and some can even consider it a form of lust. The time is ticking away. Have you ever watched the clock so closely, and found that every second of that moment was like an atom simply never existing? Of course it would be different because time is never forgotten. Based on if there was some sort of scientifically explanation such as an illness of course. I sit here in a dark room, not based on....what I think of life, but as simply as it goes....reality. There's a touch of...truth. Love it.

kitsxystuff15 @ 2006-04-14T23:22:00

2006-04-15T06:23:43Z

Okay I reeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaally haven't updated this thing in a looooooooooooooong time! Pretty crazy really. Well I'm doing fine. Not doing much...I don't work tomorrow for once....so it'll be cool to kinda just relax. I don't want to spend my day doing a lot...relaxing is fucking nice you know. Other than that...life has been going well. Work work work. At least I like my job right? Well, that's it, so take care! If you want to check up on me more...myspace is better....so....that has more updates...k!

kitsxystuff15 @ 2006-02-15T11:09:00

2006-02-15T19:12:25Z

Yeah, I'm not sure if you want to take this, but it's for fun if you want! I decided to get a new hobby and thus I've started a story on quizilla...and the person who introduced me to it...*points to Cindy* was!....CINDY! It's called Demon of Angels...have fun!

*1*
http://quizilla.com/users/hevnsrevolt86/quizzes/Demon%20of%20Angels%20(For%20Girls%20Only%2C%20Sorry!)/

*2*
http://quizilla.com/users/hevnsrevolt86/quizzes/Demon%20of%20Angels%20(2)%20%20Girls%20only!%20%20Sorry!/

*3*
http://quizilla.com/users/hevnsrevolt86/quizzes/Demon%20of%20Angels%20(3)%20Girls%20only!%20%20Sorry!/

kitsxystuff15 @ 2006-02-01T18:18:00

2006-02-02T02:18:58Z

I just want to be seen...I want my soul to be seen...held so delicate....and my soul to be comforted, where I would no longer have to feel everything that I've carried for so long.

kitsxystuff15 @ 2006-01-05T10:06:00

2006-01-05T18:11:27Z

Okay okay, so I haven't updated this in a loooong arse time. I'm doing fine...I applied at Petsmart...so...we'll see how that goes...when Octavio goes I want to volunteer at a humane society..."still". I took a shower...so now I'm so fresh and clean...and ready to run to petsmart if I have to cuz I have no car. LOL! Yes...if they called me in (if I got the job)...my arse would be running to Petsmart...yeah...don't wanna talk about it. LOL! Anyway....just thought I'd write in here...even if just a little...to...let you guys know if you still read this...that I'm doing alright. Take care!

blinks

2005-11-22T14:17:32Z

I was on ebay...and WON THE NARUTO DVDS!!...*shakes booty, singing* "I won it, I won it...I won it!"...LOL! Do you know how hard it was to get these bad boys? *thinks* well, actually, it's because I fell asleep on the first bid...LOL!...WHAT?! I was tired...*taps table...looks away*...okay...LOL! This time...oh no...I stayed up! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AND!!!!!! I got it cheaper than the other bid! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!...*grins* I feel so superior right now. LOL! I also got Justin a metal Naruto headband...shhhhh, no one tell him that...he'll totally crap his pants...LOL! Oh I also got Bleach and uuuuh..*thinks* yeah...that's it...LOL! OH OH!...I gotta go back!..LOL! ADIOS!

kitsxystuff15 @ 2005-11-15T18:21:00

2005-11-16T02:23:04Z

Dude, why is it that I hear the weird shit? I'm getting told by some chica that she was molested and crap...pretty sad. Oh, Carl and I are friends again...bestest buddies...just where we left off. LOL. It's so much better having him in my life again...he's the only friend I've ever been this close to....so it's nice having him back! On another note...I was sad today...I miss Octavio....*sigh*..I'm tired....*nods* Well anywho..gonna head out. Adios!

kitsxystuff15 @ 2005-11-14T11:55:00

2005-11-14T20:01:28Z

*yawns...stretches* soon to be mid afternoon and my lazy arse doesn't care. *taps chin* Octavio hasn't called yet....man I miss the bugga. I have to go to wal-mart and get some cat food cuz...petco doesn't have whiska's...whatever you call it...well actually they do...but they don't have the size I want. I'd have better luck at wal-mart anyway. I'm debating on visiting Austin....I guess I could see a friend...it would at least get me outta the house, ya know? Either way, I told my mom I'd go visit her sometime this week, so perhaps I could swing by to see him, then I could just go home....see? Not too shabby. I made a really great friend. His name is Tim...Tim-eh....lol. Anywho...he's been helping me out a lot...just listening to me....ya know? Times like these when Octavio is gone...it's always nice to have a friend. I have to go to the ATM..check the balance...and be disappointed again...LOL! Stupid military, always such hassles....anywho...I'm done...well...I actually have to finish getting dressed so that I can actually go....and do my errands. Peace out!
Jessica

kitsxystuff15 @ 2005-11-11T23:07:00

2005-11-12T07:10:01Z

I'm a little depressed...a bit sad...*yawns* and a bit tired. LOL! My cat keeps beating up the other one...so...it's been quite the pain. I'm hungry...hungry, tired, and depressed...whatta combo. LOL! Either way, just..decided I'd type that..so..I'm done, lol. Adios!

kitsxystuff15 @ 2005-11-11T10:55:00

2005-11-11T18:57:23Z

So...Octavio is gone for a week. I kinda like it...cuz I'm free to do whatever...like..eat whenever...take a shower whenever...go wherever...but..*sigh* it's so boring doing things alone. I don't have him making me feel like I'm dragging a little kid...lol. I won't get mad cuz he's not here...but still *sigh*...he's still not HERE!...LOL! Can't live with him...can't live without him...either way...I miss the lil bugga.